My Horrible Bosses

I am an employee for 5 years now and through out those years, I have been jumping from one work to the other. People tell me that there's no perfect working place, more so, find something that is of worth doing. At some point I've done things that I actually thought was at my league. I had fun from those days and that, nevertheless, I ended up resigning. Why? Because of--- Horrible Boss(es).

What's a horrible boss as per (me), employee's point of view?

1.  Someone who doesn't give a Fuck Boss- All of us prepares ourselves to come to work. Waking up early, having a good breakfast, dressing up what we think best fits our aura for the day and hurried ourselves so to be on the dot to report. But, as the moment I arrived, there he is, my dearly beloved boss who doesn't have a single "Good" in his morning. Face crumpled and arms crossed---immediately asking, "Have you finished this and that?" I need it now." --- Asshole. A simple greeting wouldn't hurt or at least give me 5 mins to settle down to my table before you ask for the project which supposedly yours but you assigned to me.
2. The "I don't believe you Boss"- Rainy season it is and as everyone experienced, rain means flooding and jam packed roads. I readied myself for a world war 3 from my condo to work. Excruciating 2 hours travel it is and I arrived 15 mins late. And there it goes, the litany of that bitch about being a professional. Okay, agreed. I should've not been late. I knew that rain would be there so I should've hit the road earlier than usual. The next day (cause of the rain and I cruised the flood), I was sick. I called and e-mailed the bitch about my day status and instead of showing affection, she replied, "Another excuse. I also experienced the same yesterday and I am well." So I just messaged back, "Am glad you are well. As per me, I am currently being examined for possible leptospirosis." I am human, not a robot. Everyone gets sick and that is the day for me. Who wants to be sick? I don't want...aside from work which is filed- up, a day's deduction from my salary and allowance will be made. Who will be happy with that?
3. No Vacation / Holiday allowed Boss- No explanation needed for this kind of boss. He is the Christmas Grinch; the one who doesn't celebrate anything. It is just about work, work, work and no pleasure. You already left work but he will constantly call you and be asking for an "update" about work status. If only I have no respect, I would've said, "Work is fine as I left it nicely on my desk. I am constipated right now due to non-stop eating and drinking. Cheers! Get a life!."
4. The Digit Conscious Boss- The one whose happiness is if only the productivity/ sales figures are good. If not, you are nothing. Today he would clap for you, the next, he will be treating you like an imbecile. Push more...push more!---The F, next push more and I will be seriously punching you! Have you ever asked how am I doing? Like in the last months I, my team, have been spending god knows how many hours just to achieve the target/s? Have you ever considered our current state? I am, we are, almost zombie like and, all you think of are those numbers. Then the jack-ass, when I cried, told me, "Your over times are being paid so what's your issue?" Here's the money, shove it to your ass and be happy!
5. The Stalking your Profile (FB, Twitter, Instagram) / Personal Life Boss- So social networks are made to socialize and being part of the new generation, more or less, all things are posted in my profile. I don't know with others, but for me, yes it is. So there...after I posted any fun status(es), the next morning I am caught with an awkward informal coffee session with my lame boss saying blahs and blahs. My professional life is far different from my social life. If you see me posting alcohol and others does not mean I will be coming to work drunk and messed up. As long as my work is not being jeopardized, why be bothered about the things that I do? If you are affected much, then don't follow me--- I un-friend and blocked him once and I received a query on why I did such. Weirdo.
6. The Boss who wants his Ass to be Kissed and Licked, ALL THE TIME- Yes sir, I, we know, you are in your position right now because you have excelled in some ways that I, us, couldn't do (at this moment). Please don't train me to be someone I am not. Rate me as per my performance and not as how I treat you with words that we both know are just to fool and satisfy you. I will not pretend and laugh at your stupid jokes. I will not say I agree with your demeaning policy/s. I don't like you as a person but I need to deal with you at work; That's it. I rejected attending your parties cause' I know it would just be about you all night. I couldn't stand that. I couldn't be a leech... I just cannot.
7. The I am Perfect Boss and Embracing All the Credit- She is the bitch that doesn't need the opinion/s of her team but is transferring all the work loads to them and taking the credit for all. She gathered everyone for a briefing, mentioned how difficult the task was. One by one, everyone suggested what needs to be done--- where in between the talks she inserted how good she is and from what school she finished courses and how such she is an achiever. The supposed 30mins turned out 4 hours. Thank you so much for wasting our time. During the project run, she has been out from time to time and all are left to us. But when deadline comes, she is like the glorious queen. She did most of the work she says. Okay fine, a round of applause to you miss bitch.

    More years for me to work before I could be a "boss" so I guess there will still be add-on to herein list :) To be continued...