Jessie's World

Jessie's World

Saturday, March 2, 2013


I have this thing when am still at college, almost telling everyone, and confidently bragging... WHEN I TURN 23, I'LL BE HOLDING MY FIRST MILLION!!!

Time check or year and day check, it is 2013 and it is the 3rd day of March...I am born March 22, 1990 which only means, in 20 days, this ideal would come to life or it would be a serious epic fail.

A lil' history, this thought or aim of mine to have a million when I turn to a certain age started when VMG (my multimillionaire Aunt) told me on how she had achieved her million and continued it to her current millions. Boastful I am, I've told her that she spent her life in such a waste because she reached her first 7 digits when she was at her 30s and I proudly stated that for me, it would be on the age of Two and Three, 23.

Moving forward, when I graduated, I was hired by a starting BPO company. The compensation is above the minimum and I was actually having fun at work. I was constantly being recognized by the superiors because I work fast and accurate. Received high notes and respect from my co-associates that led me to do the quality assurance for the team. A year had passed and I got bored. Issues started kicking in and it ruled me. I resigned. I became mad. I started questioning myself, "WHAT'S GONNA BE NEXT FOR ME???"

Second job, under the food and wellness...One of the best, or should I say the greatest to its field... A multinational company. This is the life! The office, the meetings, the trainings, the food, the people, the hotel, the ethics and professionalism. The perfect package for working. What else could I ask for?

I got overwhelmed, started to feel insecure, doubted myself and then, I fell in love with my boss. And so, I resigned.

My bank account from okay fell into bankruptcy. I was stressed and all over the place. I've tried to find a job, luckily I am always hired but crazy me, I didn't came to any of the first days. I went back and forth...from my home town to the capital city. Joined my relatives out of town trips and so on and so forth. I've excused myself to the professional world for almost a year then it hit me... I can no longer ask for money to my parents. My pride is starting to show itself again.

Checked online jobs, nothing really interested me. One day, got a spam mail from an agency, saying "Opportunity Overseas" Why not? Jotted down the address, went back to the Metro and did a walked-in. I didn't have any valuable papers with me so I hurried to gather my documents and filed it back to them. Got interviewed on the spot and they've told me to come back the next Sunday for the Manager's Interview.

And so I came back, got interviewed and hired the same day. The work is so out of my expertise and the salary package isn't high. It was dreadful. Nonetheless, I signed and agreed with it. Why? I also don't know. It's just that, at that moment, that time the Manager handed me the pen to sign the contract, I felt alive. Over exaggeration may it sound but, I felt that I was reborn...professionally.

Maybe it is the thought of working overseas. Seeing new place...dealing with new escape to the life that isn't pleasing me.

When I told my parents and relatives that I was hired and psyched about it (lying to them about the post and salary), they aren't as excited as I am. Nothing special, "It's up to you" scenario...So for days I was savoring the OFW (Overseas Filipino Worker) soon to be drama that I have. I even have this skit on how and when to tell my friends about it. Am I gonna cry or am just gonna be smiling and be hopeful for the newest adventure of mine? Weird me :)

Days passed and then I've got a call from our family friend. He was offering me a post...a post under a government agency. The same government agency that my family members are doing business with. How balony? Now I know, they didn't want me to go, the "It's up to you" is just a lie. They've planned to stop me and I've started hating them for doing such. I was cursing them.

I didn't want to go on that first day but they were saying, it would be such a shame if I wouldn't come because they've talked to who's who are and then this and thats. So, just to satisfy them, I came with a sad heart. I am not happy. I didn't like the office, my space of work, the people, the over all ambiance of the place. I cried and cried and continued to hate them for bringing me to that place.

Anyhow, as I literally dragged myself to work, unconsciously, I've started appreciating my workmates, followed by the work place and the others. I started to smile and get along with everyone. Though at some point, I've heard not so good things about how I've gotten the post, I've started to deal with all the what nots.

Months passed but though am working and enjoying the salary, I"ve been secretly fixing my documents for the overseas job.

I received a call about my Visa and the scheduled flight. It is only then I've told everyone about my ninja moves. They no longer have a choice because it's already done. I've resigned for the third time.

Arrived to a foreign land and started working. It was all vague to me. The days I've spent here are the ultimate test of survival. The roller coaster life description could never match the things I've been through and experienced. All are firsts to me...all are such pains to my ass.

Why I didn't listen to my parents when they've tried to stopped me? Why, why, why? But what is done is done and am already here. At least, now I know my extent.

I've ate and been eating the foods that I didn't entertain back then... Am doing things am not used to do... Am living the life that is so far different from the real life I imagined and dream of having. I've cried blood just to survive and my priceless possession had been the cans of sausages and sardines.

The twist of faith, the twist of my life.

Now, to my upcoming birthday, this what had happen to me...a total mess in my career, a cancer to my pocket. I am broke. I didn't have enough...I am asking for alms.

Is it worth it? For life experience, yes I can agree it is. But in other aspects, I am such an idiot for having such a dream and being disappointed by my own self.

Money can't buy happiness...this just for now, would be my motivation.

Happy 23rd birthday Jessie Neth Mendoza Bauto! Congratulations, you are not a millionaire! :)