Something's Wrong

For years I am numb. There's a story behind it...The pain I've been through caused this wall of not entertaining the so called, love.

 Am I happy? Yes...for quite sometime...I've enjoyed knocking down each and every opportunity of actually falling to something---to someone...but lately I've wondered...

There are the what ifs and the why not...and I actually entertained the concept again of letting someone in with my life...

But the joke was on me...sad to admit...I no longer know how to manage...to control this emotion of mine.

I expect---too much. I want to cling which is becoming annoying. I am irritated already to what I have become. What's wrong with me?

 I want to please but then I couldn't.  I became a monster of craving for attention.

 Guess am asking for too much. I kept on saying that life's a bitch but moreover, I can't afford to deal with it. Sigh...just sigh. 

It isn't Christmas, yet am asking for Santa

I just want to be someone's princess. :( I am tired of hoping and exploring. The dating  game is becoming over rated and killing my sense of reality little by little. I no longer want to expect yet, am still aiming.

When you will come? My patience is really being tested.

I have dated a lot lately, and seriously, all failed---on a drastic sense of level. The ones I liked (initial like) would end up not calling back or be out of the country for long. And for others, after the second date, their dicks are talking than their heads.

I came to ask myself, do I need to change myself just to be with someone or the other way around?

I know love shouldn't be rushed moreover, I just need someone whom I can be with...Right here and right now.

I am craving for cuddles and not fucking. I want someone who will kiss me in my forehead than having that tounge French fighting. Someone who will I enjoy movie and pig out with. Whom I will no need to worry to get tipsy and drunk because I know he cares and he is there to carry me through the night.

Am I asking for too much???