OFW (Overseas Filipino Worker) me.

Been six (6) months since I've left the Philippines to try my luck overseas. And so far, I am surviving. Yes, my term is surviving for because the last months been hard...so much like close to hell. (And yes I've been at hell once). Living here in Bahrain is so much different from the Philippines. Though this country is rich financially, it doesn't shelter my monetary needs and wants.

People back home thinks that am earning tons of money here but, seriously and with all honesty, they are wrong. What I am receiving nowadays is just enough to my day-to-day needs and most of the time, i need to do credit just to be satisfied. And the routine continues with expenses and borrowing and then paying and so on and so forth.

Whose to blame with all these? No one else than me, myself and I. I've signed to a position and to a contract that is lesser to what am supposed and capable to be. Why did I do what I did? Simple...I just want freedom. I want to test my waters without the shadow of my family and their influences. In here, no one can tell me to do this and be that nor to tell me to talk to this person to get this position and those works. Now I am independent...the real deal.

To be an OFW is hard. The fact that I am not in my own territory (country) is the first thing. Secondly, the professional ethics is so far different from ours. Third, their culture is ambiguous to me but am trying to learn and adjust. And most of all, I am away from home...my loved ones. The independence that I've wanted is equal to all these sacrifices.

Before (when am still not an OFW) I thought that what I saw in news and documentaries about OFWs are just exaggerations to touch the hearts of the audience. I was wrong. And now I've experienced it first hand.  Whatever it is captured by the media is real: The hardships, the tears, the trying to be okay everyday is the reality of every Filipino leaving my country. It is not easy and if you are weak, you'll lose your mind (and am actually in the edge of losing it)

I don't have other responsibilities aside from myself unlike the other OFWs. And for those, or mostly of the OFWs who does, I salute them. I salute them for being strong not for themselves moreover, for the families they need to support and feed in the Philippines. Yes the term "Bagong Bayani" is rightfully to be given to them 'cause what they did and doing are more than a heroic act.

***to be continued

Sin Tax Bill este Law sa Pinas

And so, the before bill now passed as a law in the Philippines, the Sin Tax Law.

The before cheap and affordable cigarettes and alcoholic beverages sky rocketed its price, nonetheless, I guess, the consumers, just like me wouldn't mine. I mean now, (that I am in Bahrain), I am paying Php 90 (converted already) for a pack of cigar and the 70 Php new Pinoy price wouldn't hurt.

Once a smoker, always a smoker...and once a drinker, it would just be it. May be not for a lifetime but, for a span of time. This new law perhaps would only lessen the daily dose of vices but never would it end the desire and that urge to buy... Don't judge me, am just telling the truth.

Getting back to the Sin Tax Law, these law as per those who authored it would add more to my dear country's wealth. Millions and even billions of peso to be generated from the additional taxes...sure does it will but, the question is, where would it go?

Allocation for health services and other government projects as what they say...and, and, and...and I hope it would really be going to that. For years and decades now our politicians have been passing bills that they've said would boost our economy, nonetheless, let's admit it, we still fall on the 3rd World category. But hey, all deserves a...tons of chances so, be it then!

May be this time it would really help...May be this law wouldn't only lessen the Filipino's consumption of what nots but really would embrace a greater future for all of us. :) Good luck to the Sin Tax Law!!!

Admitting it,,,

Life was perfect...then I've started to grow.

My craving for independence and meaning for everything created a hole to the perfectness I had and so now, all the inconsistencies freely roamed by being. Damaged am I today. How can this stop? How do I mend my broken pieces?

For years now, I am unsatisfied to almost everything that had crossed my path. I am being unfair with all...I am depriving myself to its real meaning; for my life to be happy.

I over dreamed, exaggerated the "REAL LIFE" deal. I am wrong, I admit, I really messed up. My superior evaluation of life now turned out to crab mentality, add up the paranoia and frustrations. I no longer know myself.

The supposed to be fun day-by-day of mine is now a stressful what's next drama. I am tired and exhausted. How can I have a break from all of these?

I've tried to escape, not just once but more than a million times yet, am still coming back to this crappy ride. Alcohol and tobacco do help me sometimes moreover, at the end of the day, it's all gonna be the same ambiguous being.

What really went wrong? I just couldn't identify it, better yet, couldn't face it! How am I gonna acknowledge the fact that I am a total failure now and I need to start from scratch again?