graduation...

what are the proper words to express my feeling???

am happy, am scared...
am glad and am anxious...
i feel excited but at the same time am exhausted...

jessie neth mendoza bauto..graduate---AB Political Science...

what's next for me???

am i to go straight to law school or shall i follow my first plan???

to test all the waters before making the huge step of lawyering..

to work first and explore my world...to see new things and to decide if the "ATTY" is for me to really pursue...

am confused...i eagerly wanna be a layer...moreover, am not sure...

am not sure if i can..am having doubts of my capabilities and the extent of my knowledge...am afraid that if i fail (i hope and pray that i'll not) i'll turn my self to a crazy biatch... ;(

hayst...

it's hard to decide in which and what path shall i take...

but i hope i could settle and straighten up all my thoughts before it's too late...

ok

ok is good rather than "K"...

oh...am loving the change am imposing to myself...

am happy...happy...happy...

going back to what i used to be :)

hmmp

your sarcasm kills me...

hayst..i guess i just really have to deal with you...

oh well...buti na lang graduation na :)

hindi nakakatuwa...

pagkat ikaw ay bading at maraming isyu sa buhay...


pati kami ay nadadamay...

hindi ka nakaktuwa..isang malaking PUNYETA KA!!!

apat na taon..apat na taon...nawala lang na parang bula!

bente

ngayon ako ay bente na...

ewan ko..hindi ako natutuwa ;(

the fact that am getting old and darn recession...haha...

unlike my other birthdays, ngayon lang ako totally, super eblot!..hayst...

i hate this feeling...amf...

am not enjoying this day...it's just another...ordinary, pissing day for me...tsk,tsk..hate..

oh well, i hope something good will come up before the day ends... ;(

dealing with life

for the past weeks my emo mode is totally on...am mad at myself for entertaining and accommodating such doubts about me being me..and me mingling with others. i always say and forcibly subject all my mood swings to my hormonal imbalances. nonetheless, am really really fucking tired and pissed with myself acting so weird...nagging and torturing others so i can feel more better and chilled everyday...

am demanding too much attention from people around me that am started to act corny and so bragging...i hate that am acting this way..so out focussed that am loosing my stand in life...am tough...i know am tough...but stresses all these years are taking its toll...BIG TIME!

why am a like this???why I'd transformed to a monster that even me is afraid of looking???..am so darn inconsiderate of others feelings and now I'd turned myself to a whole crap!

shit...shit...i can't understand myself...

i kept on saying i need peace and i want peace...moreover, how can i find my peace if i can't barely translate myself to what i wanted and needed to be???...

crazy..crazy me...fuck me and my way of handling things...

pass experiences are strong ghosts that keeps backing and pursuing this unnecessary jessie...

i wanna be back to my own self...the real me...

am so tired of pretending that everything is ok and would be fine...i wanna crashed this mask that's been stocked-steel to my awful now being...

jessie...jessie..i want you back! the cool...free spirited jessie...the happy go lucky go with the wind jessie....i just wanna be me...

Road trip

road trip...

super road trip!!! darn, that was a pain in the ass...literally..haha..

ang 3 hours na byahe ay napunta sa almost 12 hours...grabe, ang tagal kong umupo nuon ah...tsk, tsk...

anyway, atleast nakapunta na ako sa Bolinao, Pangasinan...haha...in addition ay ang bonggang pagpapanggap ko na ako ay pamangkin ni mayor Binay...peace:)..kailangan na talagang mag-imbento dahil medyo ipit na ako and i need good uplifting that moment...haha...

papunta dapat ako ng zaragoza, nueva ecija...ang magaling na kundoktor...maka-ilang bese kong tinatanong kung dadaan dun...ayun, ou lang ng oo...yun pala..ibang zaragoza ang alam ng mokong...haha

basta...basta...

at first am pissed but, later on...all's well...

nitatamad bna kong isulat lahat ng nangyarihaha

happy

good news and bad news...

but still am happy...

future...future..atleast may maganda talaga...

tnx to my mentor...ma'am luzviminda aggabao..aka luzviminda danao :)...

tnx..tnx..

done with defense

done with thesis defense :)...

napatunayan na sablay talaga kami sa "MATH"..haha..

oh well, atleast ok lang...graduation na talaga! haha

thesis

thesis...thesis...thesis mode...am done! we're done!hahaha..

nakakatuwa..akalain mo???as in super duper mega blockbuster FINISH na siya day before the defense???haha

am proud of my self...ako gumawa ng presentation...haha..

feeling, feeling mode ang lola mo...naman..halos lahat ata ng kaetangan nagawa ko na sa thesis na yun...

goodluck na lang sa defense bukas..pangatlo kami :)


wiiiEEEeeeeeEEeee...yiPpppEEeeee...graduation na talaga..haha

ang eksena

may makintab na itim na sasakyan...

mukhang bago...makinis eh...haha

dahan-dahan ang pagtakbo...

nung nakatapat na sa akin...bumaba ang bintana...

sino, sino...sino ang nakasakay???

slow mo pa...haha

shit..porket bago lang sasakyan mo ganyan na ang eksena???haha

sino siya...sino siya...???

secret...secret...haha...

nakz, asensado ang chekwa :)

graduation

the thought of graduation excites me and at the same time scares me...

idk...

am proud of myself because am graduating on time...

am happy that after all the dilemnas i'd encountered...(the different dramas that had strengthened me...the laughters and gimmicks i'd shared with my peers...the endless debates about sense and non-sense topics...:))

days from now i'll be holding my college diploma...congratulatyions jessie!!!..

am scared...

anxiety of growing old and moving on with life...

the fact that i'll soon be leaving my friends and be living my life alone...

no more friends who could back me up to my craziness and other trips...

now i'll be the real driver of my life...

no more baon and non-sense lakwatsas...

i have to find work and work that would sustain my needs and am hoping that it could also fulfill my wants...

it's time to say bye-bye to the regular chit-chats and tambays...goodbyes to my instructors and teachers..goodbye to la salette...

emo...emo...

sus,

CAS NIGHT 2010

last march 2, 1010...

black and white party...

unlike last year, this year's cas' night is aweSoOOOOoomMMMmeeeeEEEEE...

lots of food...lots of fun...the band and the black and white carpet rocks!!! i love the disco lights and the craziness that every one shared...

it was a real black and white party!!!

awards...awards..top 7..down to 2 ranks compared to last year..but it's ok :)...

lovely bones...

just finished watching the movie...

am disappointed..tsk, why is't that when every great books are to be translated to movies,the movie interpretation sucks???amf...

i love the book so much...the story is really ridiculously good..but then, the movie..tsk, tsk..such a shame...

the first part was awesome! the flow was almost the same with the real story plot...the here comes the "other" side that is boring...then the ending..what the fuck??? that isn't the story at all...twisted, twisted..am not happy to what the director, producer, script writer and so on and so forth did...

tsk, tsk...

sana di na lang ginawang movie,...nawala tuloy yung sense and quality