Jessie's World

Jessie's World

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

dealing with life

for the past weeks my emo mode is totally on...am mad at myself for entertaining and accommodating such doubts about me being me..and me mingling with others. i always say and forcibly subject all my mood swings to my hormonal imbalances. nonetheless, am really really fucking tired and pissed with myself acting so weird...nagging and torturing others so i can feel more better and chilled everyday...

am demanding too much attention from people around me that am started to act corny and so bragging...i hate that am acting this way..so out focussed that am loosing my stand in life...am tough...i know am tough...but stresses all these years are taking its toll...BIG TIME!

why am a like this???why I'd transformed to a monster that even me is afraid of looking???..am so darn inconsiderate of others feelings and now I'd turned myself to a whole crap!

shit...shit...i can't understand myself...

i kept on saying i need peace and i want peace...moreover, how can i find my peace if i can't barely translate myself to what i wanted and needed to be???...

crazy..crazy me...fuck me and my way of handling things...

pass experiences are strong ghosts that keeps backing and pursuing this unnecessary jessie...

i wanna be back to my own self...the real me...

am so tired of pretending that everything is ok and would be fine...i wanna crashed this mask that's been stocked-steel to my awful now being...

jessie...jessie..i want you back! the cool...free spirited jessie...the happy go lucky go with the wind jessie....i just wanna be me...

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