To my Future Daughter

Dear Future Headache,

I am sorry. You came unplanned and yes I am damned surprised. I wasn’t “that happy” when i saw the positive lines to those PT tests (i did thrice thinking the first and second was an error), but I wasn’t also sad. Deep inside I know I want to have a mini me, it is just you came two years earlier than of my plan. I am sorry if you ever felt you are unwanted...Your mom is just crazy and don’t know what feelings to have. 

I am sorry I smoked “my last puff” while waiting for the blood test (to confirm 200% that you are really here). The moment I got the lab results tho, never I dared to look and touch a cigarette again. It is so difficult not to have a decent withdrawal period but, your health matters more to me. (Takot ko lang na maging ngo-ngo ka 😂)

I am sorry that I didn’t emotionally attached myself immediately to you. During the first doctor visit, she said that there’s a possibility that your heartbeat will not develop: I had an alcoholic, smoking spree and adventurous month during your first weeks. (You are with me in Egypt—smoking, drinking, and climbing the pyramids. Went to Philippines- hanged out with your Ninongs and ninangs and yes, non-stop alcohol and nicotine. Lastly, in Dubai, while your Ninangs and I slide our asses not once but twice and non-stop in Lego land and drunk 2 boxes of Heineken beers in just two nights 🤦🏼‍♀️)

I avoided thinking I am pregnant and just continued with my day to day even people saying to me, “start talking to it, naririnig ka na nya.” I am afraid to fall in love with you, and the latter, i expected the worst and you will leave me just like that. 

But weeks have passed and here you are. Strong as F and giving Nanay a hard time carrying you 😂 Cramps, sleepless nights... me not able to eat and enjoy meals. (I lost 8kgs already— you are dieting me😬)

You made me an emotional freak; crying over petty stuffs. EG: I cried over a fish that ain’t looking as exactly the menu picture. 🤦🏼‍♀️ I sobbed for almost 30mins when I read the message that your Nanay Tinz can’t accompany me to your scan. I obsessed myself looking at your Kuya Liam’s pictures and videos (Thank you Mamamanager for your IG posts that i stalk everyday) 🙄Nagged your Ninang Diana for mandatory talks every day (oh well, i know she loves talking to me too so all is fair) 😂I became crazier than ever 🤣

Tons have changed since I saw those two lines. One thing is for sure tho, i love you more, and more each day. I will sacrifice my world and others too (collateral damage 🤭) just to give you the best of the world.

I am afraid not to be a great mom. I am afraid that when you grow up you will be hating me. (Our Zodiac sign btw contradicts each other 😱) I am afraid I will not be enough to fulfill your future potential.

I know I will be a stage mom. For that, I apologize. Know that from this moment on, there will be a pressure on your shoulder— I hope and pray that you be the one to accomplish Nanay’s dream: ATTY before your name 😬🤭. But if in case not, still I will love you unconditionally. But please, just don’t be a damn ass 😂😅 worst, a blondie stupid one😣

Your dad wants you to learn German. I want Mandarin. (So basically we will force you to know 5 languages- English, Filipino, Romanian, German and Mandarin) 😏 He wants you to do fencing, and me archery. He wants you to play the violin and Nanay wants harp. Too much things we want for you. Please don’t kill us later on 🤓😛 Again, sorry in advance.

I can’t wait to see you. I am excited to hug and kiss you 😘 Surely we will shower you with much love and affection and you will vomit from all of it 🤮🙇🏻‍♀️ Please don’t get tired of me as my world revolves around you now. I will be protective of you— ensuring 99.9% of safeguarding 😬.

I love you little one. You are the best thing that happened to me. You are my happiness in the dawn. 

P.S.: Love me back and stop making me suffer 😂😂😂

Your daddy can’t write his own message so here’s the screenshot of what he wants to say: